Sundance Review: TheyDream is a creative act of mourning, celebration

I'm a mama's boy, a dog person, and an animation lover, so it's perhaps no surprise that William D. Caballero's TheyDream hit me hard. The emotional impact sort of snuck up on me, the story building, the disparate moments slowly adding up, the thesis of the film gradually coming into focus. And then, there I was, bawling my eyes out, and for the rest of the movie, I was a teary mess, feeling so grateful for this ode to family that feels like a sort of everything-and-the-kitchen-sink emotional catharsis.

The film, which premiered at Sundance yesterday, is a deeply personal documentary, the kind that can easily go off-track. Caballero is telling the story of his family, with his mom, Milly, at the center. When a filmmaker turns their camera on those closest to them, it's often a hit-or-miss deal. The material can be handled to preciously, or the import can be too hard to decipher. It can end up being navel-gazing (honestly, it's kind of a miracle when it isn't). TheyDream, I'm glad to say, works really beautifully, in part because Caballero is so thoughtful about why the movie exists, what his intentions are, what it all means.

 He recalls a professor telling him that no one would be interested in watching a movie about his family. And on paper, you can understand why. Most families don't have big, epic stories. They aren't full of one-of-a-kind characters. Most of us are just normal people going about our lives, doing out best, and taking care of each other. Which is great. And that certainly feels like the case with Caballero's family. There's not some crazy story here, just a loving family that have done their best to look out for each other over the years. Especially Milly, who (like so many women) has become the de facto caretaker of the family, caring for her father, her husband, and her mother before each of them passed away. 

Now, as she ages and faces health struggles related to her congenital hip dysplasia, the question becomes: who will care for her?

William lives on the other side of the country, pursuing his creative career in Los Angeles, while Milly still lives in the trailer she's been in since the mid-nineties, a humble life, a good life, but an increasingly lonely life.

TheyDream is presented as a film that's made, in large part, to make Milly feel happy, and I have to imagine it succeeds mightily on that front. The film is a celebration of various things, including family in general and the act of creation as a means of processing life and all its ups and downs, but it is more than anything an ode to Milly. And god, does she deserve it. She's one of those documentary subjects where, as soon as she appears on screen, you just love her and want the best for her. It's no surprise she's been such a great caretaker for so many family members: she has that feeling of being a safe and sturdy person, someone dependable and warm.

A lot of TheyDream (as you might guess, since I'm reviewing it here) is comprised of animated sequences, using a variety of techniques: hand-drawn, CGI, some stop-motion, rotoscoping. The latter is particularly effective, and finds William portraying his later father at different times in his life, and then Milly portraying her late mother to bring the plethora of staccato voicemails she left behind to life. It's an act of resurrection, collapsing generations, allowing the living to reconnect with the dead and perhaps gain new insight into or empathy for those who are gone. 

And as Milly increasingly participates in the film's creative process, I found myself more involved. I love when a movie is also its own making-of, and that's certainly a key element of TheyDream. Early in the film, William shows Milly various bits of animation, as well as some of the videos he filmed as references. By the end of the film, Milly is in front of the green screen, helping craft various elements for the film, and even standing behind the camera. It's only because of her support for and belief in William's artistic endeavors that he was able to leave home, make it to LA, and become a filmmaker, so it's a beautiful full-circle moment for Milly to become his creative collaborator. 

Toward the end of the film, there's some bits that felt a little wobbly, like Caballero perhaps wasn't quite sure how to land the plane. You get the sense that he's struggling with a lot of guilt, for being so far away from his aging mother and not seeing her as often as he should. He imagines her being alone, without anyone to turn to after being the one so many others turned to in their hours of need. Whether this film is a way to explain himself, or to seek forgiveness, is only for him to say. Maybe that rough edge, that uncertainty, makes this a little more interesting, gives the audience a little more to grapple with. For me, it took me out of the film a bit, but it got me back on board by the time the credits rolled.

TheyDream recognizes that families are complicated, that parents aren't perfect, and that neither are kids. We're all (hopefully) doing out best to live alongside each other, to prop each other up, to love each other through any circumstances. Not everyone is so lucky to have a family like that (I feel grateful that I am). But after laughing and crying through this chronicle of Caballero and his family, I'm glad that he ignored his professor, and decided to share his stories with us.