Review: I have no choice but to stan Hatsune Miku

I'm a gay person with an interest in Japanese culture who exists on the internet, so I am aware of who Hatsune Miku is. I'm not a dyed-in-the-wool fan by any means (although I'm arguably closer to that now after watching this movie), but I always perk up when I see her. I bought a cute magnet of her when I was at the Snow Festival in Sapporo earlier this year. I love seeing her in Fortnite and Fall Guys and whatnot. But I went into Colorful Stage! The Movie: A Miku Who Can't Sing without having much attachment/baggage going in.

Which is definitely not the case for a lot of people. Case in point: there was a trio of young women sitting in the row ahead of me, and one of them was a true-blue Miku-head. When various characters popped up on screen, she was snapping photos of them. She also kept making little hearts with her hands at different characters. She full-on recorded most of the musical performances that end the movie. Horrible, horrible theater etiquette, but it did really confirm that I was on the outside looking in for this one.

And I didn't mind a bit. My elevator pitch for this movie would be Mamoru Hosada's Belle by way of Robert Altman's Nashville. I don't know if that would resonate as true to anyone else, and it's definitely much more Belle, but it feels right in my soul. Here's an anime movie that takes place largely in virtual spaces and grapples with various sorts of isolation and mental health issues, all while looking fabulous and deploying great music.

The Nashville of it all comes in with the absolutely sprawling cast, which I imagine will be a bit of a roadblock for a lot of viewers. This movie is adapted from a mobile video game, so if you've played the game (I haven't), you'll recognize the characters and be excited to see them. There are (aside from Miku and the other virtual characters) twenty "main characters", who are all members of various bands. Five bands, four members each. What this means in practice is that we don't really get to know any of them in a very meaningful way. Honestly, there are so many characters that I started second-guessing how many groups there even were, if I was conflating some characters with others. Adding to the confusion is that some of the characters from the groups are related to each other or know each other, but that doesn't really come into the larger plot of saving the many Mikus of the world(s). But we'll get to that.

So if you're coming into this wanting to get to know some characters and have some growth on that front, see a meaningful story arc play out, etc., this movie probably isn't going to do a lot for you. It's much more vibes-based, and much more about delivering a ton of fantastic music while looking great. For me, that was definitely enough, but your results may vary.

The main thrust of the story is that these characters go into a virtual world called SEKAI (Japanese for "world", appropriately) where they hang out as cool avatars with various versions of Hatsune Miku and her friends. In each SEKAI, Miku and gang have different appearances and personalities. And each server is pretty small, just the specific friend group plus virtual friends. 

But a Miku no one recognizes starts popping up everywhere, by which I mean on every screen. She's on a mission to figure out why her song isn't reaching the people she most wants to reach, which are people who are overwhelmed, lonely, depressed, at a standstill, etc. When she tries to sing to them from the screens in their lives, she appears as a jumbled mess of static, and they appear that way to her, as well. So she starts enlisting the help of the twenty main characters to teach her how they make their music resonate with listeners, thinking maybe they can help her fine-tune her skills and make her mark on the world.

It's a sweet story that does what it needs to do to frame what is, ultimately, a build-up to a bunch of really fun musical performances. Each band has a unique sound and flavor. My favorite is probably Wonderland x Showtime, whose SEKAI is a festival-like space populated with little stuffed animals. The carnival vibes are strong, and their song is so cute and fun, and probably the most unique of the bunch. But they're all serves, and I did end up downloading I think every single song in the movie. Am I becoming a stan? Perhaps.

Wonderland x Showtime

After the credits, there's a cute little "after-show" where Hatsune Miku and the other virtual characters perform one last time. I'm not exactly sure why it looks the way it does. It doesn't look like the animation from the movie, so maybe it's footage from the game, or more like what you would see if you went to one of her concerts? Not clear.

Colorful Stage! The Movie: A Miku Who Can't Sing is ultimately probably an acquired taste, but if you want to just vibe with some attractive anime characters while they sing a bunch of catchy songs, it's an absolute bop. Even if you don't watch it, it's at least worth listening to the soundtrack.