Rewind: All aboard for The Polar Express!

Robert Zemeckis is always up to some shit, and thank goodness for that. One of the most eclectic directors in the business, Zemeckis has always loved pushing the medium to new places while toying with cutting-edge technology. This has included forays into animation, with the one-two-three punch of The Polar Express, Beowulf, and A Christmas Carol (the Jim Carrey one, which is very good). This year, Zemeckis took one of the biggest swings of his career with Here, a time-jumping, static-camera story of a spot of land across millennia. It was the sort of thing that I assumed would be a huge miss. Most people think it is. But it hit me hard, profoundly, even, and made me grateful that this mad scientist of a filmmaker is still going at it.

When The Polar Express came out in 2004, I was 14, in middle school. I remember thinking it looked weird back then, and creepy. Also, with a teacher as a mother (and as a recent child), I was familiar with the book, and didn't really see how it would make for much of a movie. In the years since, this movie has hung over my head like a Yuletide Sword of Damacles. I knew I would watch it someday. I feared that day. But I knew I would. Because this movie is considered by some to be a classic by now. After twenty years, that seems a fair call to make. I have friends who grew up on this movie. And since I'm now running this animation blog, I thought this year was the time to finally take the (polar) plunge.

It ends up, most of what I assumed about this movie turned out to be true. It is pretty wild-looking, and very light on plot. The animation hasn't aged particularly well, which is a bit alarming when it looked rough to begin with. But I imagine back when this came out, it was pretty dazzling to behold. Aside from the human characters, this has some real flash, some gorgeous images. The shot of the (weirdly nameless) main character standing outside the eponymous train when it first arrives at his house is a gorgeous take on the book's cover, one of those iconic images that gets seared into your brain quickly, and likely forever.

The motion-capture of it all is where things get really wonky. From what I can tell, all the motion-capture was done by adults (Tom Hanks plays a lot of the characters, including the main kid), but then other voice actors were brought in for the child characters. I'm sure that was a smart approach from a financial and scheduling standpoint, and I imagine it's not at all to blame for how weird the characters in this look, but maybe it affected it somehow (like de-aged DeNiro hobbling a bit in The Irishman). The real problem is how dead in the eyes everyone is, like they're all freshly-caught fish gasping for water. Like, these kids are so. fucking. creepy. And the main girl (also nameless) has weirdly static braids that add to the Uncanny Valley-ness of these little creeps. It's just...horrific.

But at least they're put through a bunch of stressful situations. I can't say I remember the book that well, but I think it's a fairly simple, straightforward thing, probably more about the illustrations than the words. That's definitely the feeling here. This movie is very padded with musical numbers and action scenes, odd asides and random supporting players (like the hobo -- also Tom Hanks -- who rides on the roof of the train, and is magic, and is maybe Santa? Are they all Santa?). Aerosmith shows up at one point. That's not a joke. The train ride is like a theme park attraction hopped up on sugar plum dust and trying to stay up until midnight -- maybe not my best metaphor, but it's about as interesting as anything in this movie. The train ends up on ice, going backwards, barreling up a hill, cars detaching. There's a weird kid in the back. An annoying kid played by Eugene from Grease. God, what is this movie???

But as barely-a-movie and creepy-looking as this is, I also couldn't look away. Like a trainwreck, I guess. And I think that comes down to Zemeckis, who always puts his whole Zemussy into whatever he makes. That's why even his worst movies (I'm looking at you, Welcome to Marwen) are fascinating to behold. Sometimes, like with The Polar Express, the end result feels more like a technical exercise than an artistic expression. But sometimes, like with Here, the chemistry is just right, and the technology enhances the emotion, and allows it to become full-bodied to the point of bursting off the screen.

I certainly didn't hate my time with The Polar Express, and I can definitely see myself returning to it in years to come, maybe with kinder eyes now that I know what it is, have seen the shape of it. I definitely want to watch it with an edible sometime. I think that could make for a fun ride. But for now, I'll try to not be too much of a Scrooge, and appreciate this Christmas curio for what it is: a technological time capsule that helped lay the tracks for greater things.