Review: Moana 2 never finds its way

In the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, the entertainment industry, like so many others, had to quickly figure out how to face a strange new world. For Hollywood, the main shift was one toward streaming. Suddenly, every studio started pouring immense resources into their respective streamers. So, so many projects got announced in those days, plenty of which came to fruition, but maybe more that never have. And as the theatrical business has started to return to normal (though it's still struggling, partially from last year's dual strikes), the focus on streaming has, in some cases, taken a back seat.

Moana 2 started life as a TV show intended for Disney+. It would've been a big deal show there, maybe it could've even attracted some new subscribers. But the first Moana was the most-streamed movie of the year last year, a sign of how much it's grown in popularity since 2016, when it was a big box office hit and garnered a couple Oscar nominations. So Disney clearly realized the property has more value on the big screen, where they'll likely clear a billion dollars worldwide with this new movie, rather than on a streaming service, where the show would be seen (maybe repeatedly), but wouldn't really generate money in the same way.

I want to say up front that I love Moana. It's a comfort movie to me. I've watched it many times, listened to the soundtrack many more times. On my ranked 2016 list, it's at #11, sandwiched between Moonlight and Silence. I have Moana ranked above a Scorsese masterwork!! It's serious!

So I'm as disappointed as anyone that Moana 2 is a resounding dud, a symbol of everything that's wrong with Disney's current theatrical output. Like this year's Inside Out 2, this movie feels largely like a retread of its predecessor, but in this case, the result is much worse than Pixar's latest. From the songs to the story beats, I kept having the worst feeling of deja vu. Like...I've seen this before, but I remember it being better. What is this?

I'll say, though, Moana 2's TV origins don't really show through. Maybe in the larger idea -- Moana wants to sail the sea and find other inhabited islands, so that her people can link up with them and build community and all that good stuff. I could see a show where, every week, Moana lands on a new island and has to go through some hoops to win their trust and affection. Whatever. But here, the journey is focused on finding a specific island that was basically a meeting place that all currents led to a thousand years ago. Moana thinks if she can find that island, she can find more people.

The issue with this main thrust of the plot is that it feels a bit backward engineered. You can almost feel the writers grasping at straws, trying to get Moana in motion. She needs to find more people because...it would be...good? And a ghost told her in a vision that her island will suffer if they don't find more people! Good enough. 

It's not good enough. The story is so baldly nothing that it's hard to care about the journey at all. That Moana needs to rescue Maui along the way feels more interesting, and maybe could've been more compelling as part of the endgame, but that's not the way this thing is structured. Instead, Moana sets out with a trusty crew (one of the highlights of the film), picks up Maui along the way, and honestly, accomplishes her goal weirdly easily.

It sometimes feels like this movie isn't that concerned with the story it's telling, but is rather more interested in setting up further adventures (as teased in a mid-credits scene where the movie's best character, the villainous Matangi, is finally remembered after being abandoned at the halfway point). Moana 2, more than maybe anything Disney has ever made -- which is saying something! -- feels like it exists only to further feed the machine. Moana is popular, so it must become a franchise. Each new entry must generate new merchandise -- dolls of Moana's little sister, more coconut warriors, another pig that looks just like Pua but is bigger and a little uglier but STILL CUTE! It's honestly dire to behold. Half the dialogue feels like it was tailor-made to be soundbites in trailers, not driving the story or speaking to character, but rather servicing the marketing to get butts in seats so kids will want the merchandise! It goes all the way to the top!

If I'm spiraling a bit, I think it's understandable. For so much of my life, Disney Animation was the gold standard of the medium. I was born in the midst of the Disney Renaissance. As I got older, we got into that cool kind of weird period where Disney was making stuff like Atlantis and The Emperor's New Groove. When I was in high school, they hit a new stride with stuff like Tangled and Wreck-It Ralph. And now, we're getting sequels that feel as much like limp retreads as the live-action remakes Disney keeps forcing down our throats.

The worst offenders in Moana 2 are the songs. Moana has such a dynamite soundtrack, thanks to Lin-Manuel Miranda's brilliant compositions, which he worked on alongside Mark Mancina and Opetaia Foa'i. The latter two return this time, but the main songwriting duties fall on Abigail Barlow and Emily Bear, who sadly are not up to the task. I realize they have a bit of an impossible task, trying to make songs that fit with the established sounds of the first movie while also putting their stamp on it, but they end up churning out a tracklist that sounds like people trying to play the first movie's songs from memory after hearing them once. It's actually insane how closely a lot of these songs mirror entries from Moana. "We're Back" is "Where You Are." "Beyond" is "How Far I'll Go." "Can I Get a Chee Hoo?" is "You're Welcome." It's so depressing.

But I don't want to just be a downer. There's obviously some good stuff in here. Like I mentioned, I liked the crew that Moana assembles for this adventure. It's a smart move, giving her more personalities to play off of, and adding more personality to the village. I like how they figure into the story even if they don't ultimately amount to much. It's still very much Moana and Maui's show, but I liked seeing them as part of a bigger team.

As Moana and Maui, Auli'i Cravalho and Dwayne Johnson continue to do strong work. They clearly love these characters, and they give it their all, even if the script fails them time and time again. I was so bummed that the emotional climax feels so flaccid. It's certainly not the performers' fault.

The animation is gorgeous, certainly up to Disney's high standard. Appropriately, the water is especially beautiful, the way it ripples and waves and shimmers. The storm sequence toward the end of the film is really stunning, easily the visual highlight of the movie. The way the lightning and clouds and waves all coalesce into this intense, seemingly unbeatable thing is really exciting to behold. (Side note: I want to know if Disney recently came up with some new way to animate slime that they're really excited about, because there was so much in this movie. It felt like every other scene, some new generic-looking creature popped up and promptly barfed up a bunch of slime on our heroes. Just an observation.)

This queen deserved better

Ultimately, I found myself struggling to figure out what was poorly thought-out or forgotten, and what was setting up a sequel. There's clearly going to be a Moana 3, and I'm glad there will be! I like these characters and this world. This big, open ocean is full of potential adventures that I think could be exciting and fun and emotional. But it's an unforgivable sin to keep your eye on those future entries rather than serving up a good story with the current one. Don't tease a villain for the next movie; give us a villain in this movie! 

Next time around, I hope the filmmakers really take the time to give Moana an adventure that's worthy of her. And for the love of Maui, please, please get Lin-Manuel Miranda back.