Review: Panda Bear in Africa is about a panda bear in Africa

So, there's this movie called Panda Bear in Africa. And, my friend, you will never guess what it's about. Or, who knows, maybe you'll get lucky and land in the right ballpark. Stranger things have happened, I suppose.

Sure, the title doesn't leave much to the imagination, but then, neither does the movie. This is about down-the-middle, it-is-what-it-is as movies get. Which sometimes, will be the exact kind of scratch you need for an itch. Maybe you need something to watch where your brain can relax. Maybe the kids need to be occupied for 85 minutes. Whatever the case, there's a place for inoffensive, kind of bland animation like this, and while I don't love it, I don't hate it, either.

Panda Bear in Africa is indeed, about a panda bear, Pang, who goes on an adventure to Africa to rescue his best friend, a dragon on the cusp of adulthood name Jielong. Jielong can't yet breathe ice or fly, much to her chagrin, which leads her father to leave her behind when he flies east to tend to the fields and paddies there.Within like, five minutes of him being gone, Pang and Jielong are ambushed by a baboon and crocodile who are on a mission to capture a dragon. Rotten luck, indeed. A chase ensues, with Pang not quite managing to save his friend, but figuring out a way to take up the pursuit nonetheless. Onward to Africa!

Why Africa? Because these villains are working for a villainous, scarred lion (sound familiar?) whose nephew is the prince (eh??). Jielong will make a great birthday present for the prince, because she'll also be a superb weapon against the lions' enemies, the hyenas.

(Yes, a lot of this is basically a recycled Lion King, but the movie doesn't shy away from that. The introduction to the African setting is a play on the opening of Disney's classic, complete with the prince, Ade, being lifted into the air. It's fine.)

Most of the movie is comprised of Pang and his newly-met monkey friend (who talks a lot and isn't the most trustworthy) Jojo encountering various animals, most of whom serve as some sort of obstacle on their quest to save Jielong. A lot of these feel like scenes that are just meant to fill run-time, but there are definitely some laughs to be had. I love the camel whose business practice make Spirit Airlines look upfront and honest, and the dead-eyed meerkats who are in desperate need of water. The character designs are all cute, nothing super stand-out or unique (other than the dragons), but all solidly executed. I definitely appreciated the differences in fur texture, ranging from the sweet fluff of Pang to the scratchy tangles of the camel. (Sadly, there's more personality in the ending credits' animation -- it looks like storyboards come to life -- than in the movie itself.)

I would've been more into Pang's adventure if he wasn't so boring and square. This guy states early in the movie that pandas are meant to sit on their butts and eat bamboo, but then he's completely fine with going on this adventure. At every turn, he's super sweet, kind, optimistic, forgiving. There's nothing wrong with him, no complexity, no darkness, no edge. I get he's the hero in a kid's movie, but man, he's a drag to follow around.

Thankfully, the supporting cast fares a lot better. Jojo serves as the snarky comic relief, and most of the tertiary characters have a bit more color to them, too. Even Ade, who is super annoying but at least has a personality (which is that he's super annoying, mostly).

There aren't really any surprises to be found, but maybe that's for the best, all things considered. It's like going on a tame theme park ride you've been on a hundred times before. Smooth sailing, comforting in its lack of confrontation, the sort of thing you can zone out during without missing a beat. You don't go on such a ride for the thrills. You go on it because the line was short and you've got kids in your group.